Women working out vs. Men working out

Ladies, let’s be honest, men have no idea what it takes for women to exercise.  We have so many things against us from the get-go.  There are things men likely never need to think about or experience but these things shape our exercise routines and experiences.

Here is a list that has been frustrating me this week.  Feel free to add to it.

1. Strength – Men naturally have more upper body strength than women.  Ladies, do you remember having to climb the rope in gym class?  I don’t.  You know why? PTSD.  It was traumatic.  I have never been able to lift my own weight off the floor.  Ropes, chin-up bars, monkey bars - all a nightmare for me.  One of my goals for the year is to change this.  I want to be able to do a few pull ups but honestly, I haven't even lifted one finger towards this goal yet.  Traumatic, people. Trau-ma-tic.

2. Metabolism – Oh Lord Help Me!  I’ve worked my ass off to lose weight.  Working out, running, portion control.  Three runs, two pilates classes, one spin class, and not eating that second roll and I can maybe lose a half pound by week’s end.  My darling husband can declare at the beginning of the week he is going to lose five pounds and, by the end of the week, he’s lost eight pounds AND he’s had pizza three times during the week and likely an entire can of biscuits.  WHAT.THE.HELL?  The only saving grace for me is that he usually slides off track by the second week and is back to his previous weight pretty quickly.  Not that I’m rooting against you, honey…

3. Running at night - Men can run any hour of the day or night without fear of being abducted, raped and murdered.  Women cannot run outside during dark hours unless we desire to be the focus of an episode of  48 Hours Mystery.  I’ve seen all of those shows, I know I am guaranteed to be snatched straight out of my tennis shoes the second I step out for a night run.  That’s why you rarely see women running alone at night – they’re either scared to go out or they decided to go out and were immediately abducted by a crazy serial killer-rapist, never to be seen or heard from again.

4. Boobs – Okay, not all women have this particular problem but it is one I have to deal with constantly.  I have to put a lot of effort into strapping “the girls” into a supportive (de)vice so they are not all over the place doing a completely different exercise from the one I am doing. 

5.  Working out during a lunch break -

Men working out during lunch = 40 minute workout, 5 minutes shower, get dressed and return to work. 

Women working out during lunch = 40 minute workout, 5 minute shower,  10 minutes to dry hair and make it presentable (for me that would include lots of product and slow drying for decent, presentable curly hair or a quick dry and flat ironing - both take the same amount of time), 5 minutes to slap on some make-up, 5 minutes to get dressed in a presentable manner - SHIT, now I'm late getting back to work!  

And the most undeniable difference -

6. Exercising when Aunt Flo is in town - Yes, ladies, those horrible days during the month when the last thing you want to do is drag your tired, hormonal ass to the gym to workout.  Research shows that an increase in exercise and decrease in sugar and caffeine can help get us through those miserable days.  Well HA HA HA on you, researchers (probably all male).  Mother Nature (a women) declares that all I should do is sit on the couch and consume massive quantities of junk food and caffeine.  It takes every ounce of my being to squeeze my water-retaining self into my workout clothes and head to the gym.  Like seriously, every single ounce.  Men will NEVER EVER EVER know what this feels like.

So ladies, all of this is to prove that any exercise you manage to do in your life has been against the odds, therefore, you are an unbelievable specimen of determination and endurance.  Carry on, sisters!

Girls Rule. Boys Drool.
JS