If you're looking for an inspirational post about the amazing health benefits of working out, go right ahead and click the "x" in the top corner of your screen now. This isn't the post for you. If, however, you want to read a hilarious story in which I make fun of myself and share just one of the many (MANY....) embarrassments that I've encountered during this fitness endeavor, keep reading. I'm here to make you feel better about anything stupid that has ever happened to you at the gym. I'm generous like that.
So...I was about...oh...three good weeks into swimming. Starting to feel pretty good about actually being AT the pool, but not to the point where I was regularly swimming. I had a few lessons under my belt and was starting to feel comfortable around the pool and with the swim instructor. I'd just begun to master the art that is packing for a swim lesson--and let me tell you, there's a learning curve there! In the beginning, it was overwhelming making sure that I had everything for the pool. I pack like a pro these days. Anyway, at this point, however, I was still...shall we say...self-conscious around the pool. So, I took a bag of towels, etc. to the pool area to ensure that I had enough...coverage. Again, I'm much less concerned about this now because it's just too much work, but it's relevant to the story. Picture me hauling a giant bag of stuff, most of which was towels.
On this particular day, Anderson had a lesson. I was sitting poolside, minding my own business--checking Facebook, watching the lap swimmers, occasionally watching the boy to make sure he was following directions. All throughout this time, families and swimmers are coming and going, walking past my chair, and my pool bag. I'm fairly certain that at one point, I was actually feeling a little haughty; we were becoming pool regulars! We took swim lessons! Look at us branching out and trying new things! I was learning my way around the pool, feeling good! Looking back, maybe that is the reason that what happened next actually happened. I firmly believe that when you get too high on your pedestal, the universe immediately knocks you down a bit. I was drifting a bit too high for my britches.
At the end of Anderson's lessons, the swim instructor usually stops for a moment to chat about how the lesson went, what the plans are for the next lesson, etc. This day was no exception...I wrapped the boy up in his towel and talked for a minute about the lesson. Then, the instructor left the pool area. It was then--45 minutes after we walked into the pool area, 45 minutes of people coming and going--that I looked down at my bag. Next to the bag was a pair of what my in-laws would call "unmentionables". Yes. A nice pair of panties, just lying there for all the world to see--all those families walking by, the swim instructor, who already had the misfortune of having to see me in my bathing suit and now had to bear witness to this. Now, if they were, say, my "A" panties (ladies, you know what I'm talking about!), it would've been one thing. Yeah, it would have been embarrassing, but hey, at least I have cute taste in undergarments. No...not on this day, friends! On this day, I went with comfort. And unfortunately, comfort means...granny panties. And unfortunately...not just any granny panties. MATERNITY panties. My kids are 5 years old. I haven't needed maternity clothes in a long time. However, I stand by my choice to keep and wear them! They were pricey, and they're sooooooo comfortable. But alas, there, on the pool deck, was a pair of maternity granny panties. I was left with two options: 1) Pretend they weren't mine and leave them, or 2) Own it and pick the damn things up. I went with option 2; I laughed out loud, picked them up, and shoved them in my bag. Like I said, they're super comfortable. I'm still not ready to give them up. It was worth it to suffer and pick them up.
Those stupid little moments that are hilarious and humiliating are good for you, I'm convinced. I'm not even slightly embarrassed to tell the story, because that kind of thing happens to people all the time, and there is comfort in numbers. Just think--if we all shared our embarrassing stories, we would laugh a lot more and feel a lot less alone! I have to admit that I was a little embarrassed to see the swim instructor at our next lesson, though. I've always wondered if he noticed. If so, he surely never acted like it.
Unfortunately that's only one of the wardrobe malfunctions that I've dealt with during my swimming career. But that's another story for another time. Like I say in every post, swimming is the most humbling thing I have ever done.
Happy Weekend!
~WJ
No comments:
Post a Comment